why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
