I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
