He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
