is your mom at the bar?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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