I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
