he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The air was thick with penises
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
