He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize