Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
