That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize