Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
