My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize