We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
