i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
