you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
