Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize
