Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
