The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
