Life is so much better after having sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
