idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize