I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
