Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
