don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
