my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You brought string cheese to the strip club
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
