But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
50% drunk capacity currently
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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