literally had 100 drinks last night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
