Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
