I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
