You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
