It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
