There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
