Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
