is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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