It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
