Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We left an ass print on the piano.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize