I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
