He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
