The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
