he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize