Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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