sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
