You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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