i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize