Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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