Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
