Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
