69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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