I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
