It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
