Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
