This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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