I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
