Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
