my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just had sex bonerless
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
