I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
