she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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