my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
