Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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