she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize