I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
