if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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