Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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