Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
