why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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